Titanictus Chowdown ((17 June 2008)

Commentator: "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the second edition of..."
Music cues to a drum roll...

...
...
...

"Titanictus Chowdown!...


and here is your host... the destroyer of countless fridges, the annihilator of victuals, the 97 Inch Belly himself... TITANICTUS!"

Titanictus enters the arena riding his cobalt-blue Yamaha R6.
He dismounts and enters the ring, smiling and waving to the crowd.

Valets walk among the crowd handing out free mini pork and shrimp skewers.

Set in the middle of the ring is a table with seats for 2 with drink and plates of food.
Titanictus grabs a microphone...

"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome..."

The titantron lights up and shows up scenes from the last show...
Titanictus gets a sheet of paper from his pocket and reads it.

"Here are the results from the last show:
Fenriz beat Underb3st with a "Wolf Knockout" finisher!
Skiellor beat yours truly here.
Kotty85 beat Abbas the Jihadist with a violent Flying Clothesline!
Septic teamed with The Toxic Avenger beat Justin Case and Stormcrash.
Destinys Messenger beat Angels Wrath with a "Destinys Grasp" submission hold.

The Toxic Avenger defeated Sharp Shooter, becoming the NEW EVOLUTION CHAMPION!
MTX teamed with Troy Hansen Jr. and beat Jimmy "The Big Hit" Lee and Morris "Red Soul" Fleishman
and Marabuntha beat Dark Lorkan with a side head lock submission hold!"

Titanictus pauses...

"To comment these results, I have with us, the man who taught me every wrestling move I know.
He's made the time in his busy schedule to be with us today even though he's currently suing NBC, claiming that "Law and Order" are the trademarked names of his left and right leg...
The man that does not sleep... he waits...
Ladies and Gentlemen... I give you... Chuck Norris."

The Titantron lights up and scenes of Walker, Texas Ranger are flashing across it as the crowd goes wild...
Norris makes his way to the ring, microphone in hand...

"Hello everyone..."
Norris calmly enters the ring and greets Titanictus.
"So... Chuck, what are your thoughts on the last show?"
"It was decent. Instead tell me about this dinner of yours with Angelina Jolie I keep hearing about."
"...", Titanictus blushes.
Chuck's face has no expression.
"I saw that your rival tried to attack a woman. That is unnaceptable."
Chuck turns towards the ramp.
"You spineless dog, Skiellor, get over here. I want a word..."

A few endless seconds later, Skiellor's music hits the speakers and the curtain opens...
Skiellor and Marabuntha come down the ramp, one holding a baseball bat, the other, a steel chair, and they start running to the ring.
Titanictus grabs a tuna sandwich and is ready for a skirmish...
Norris does not move. He's simply standing in the ring, clearly unimpressed.

Skiellor and Marabuntha slide into the ring, Skiellor dashes and hits Titanictus square in the gut with the baseball bat, Titanictus falls to the ground and Skiellor raises the bat high in the air, taunting him.
Marabuntha hits Chuck Norris in the beard with the steel chair but it bounces back and knocks Marabuntha out. Chuck Norris has no chin under his beard, only another fist.

Norris turns around and goes into a martial stance staring at Skiellor...
Skiellor takes a step back preparing to run away as the crowd starts shouting for some reason...
Skiellor looks to the Titantron and sees Angelina Jolie. She was hiding under the ring and his now behind him!
Angelina low blows Skiellor in the family jewels AGAIN!

Chuck and Angelina help Titanictus up and his music starts playing.
Titanictus grabs the microphone...

"Well, I think that's it for tonight's Chowdown. Thank you!"

The trio leave the arena waving to the crowd, Chuck and Angelina holding Titanictus up while he's holding onto his belly.









((This post is a tribute to the Chuck Norris Facts net folklore))

Damn ... Flattened by Norris ... What an honor